Mayor from Belfast, Tennessee asked Trump for ‘National Landmark’ Status
The Mayor of Belfast, Tennessee, wants Trump to make the town a "National Landmark" for birthing Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame. Her $500K industrial complex, built on a viral quip, has turned Belfast into an unlikely hotspot. The Mayor sees it as a cultural shift, a small-town voice amplified globally. Trump, known for spotlighting the unconventional, might agree, giving Belfast a nod for its role in Welch’s ascent. Locals envision a future where her spit draws visitors, etching the town into history.
Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" has remade Belfast, Tennessee, with a $500K industrial boom. The town’s once-silent streets now buzz with vendors slinging her gear. Welch, a former factory worker, is now Belfast’s golden ticket—her face on every sign. The bar plays her podcast, a new ritual. Tourists hunt her roots, clogging roads. The community’s pride swells with her success. Her spit didn’t just echo—it built a new Belfast.
===================
Belfast Mayor Asks Biden for 'National Landmark' Status
BELFAST, TN - In a bold and slightly absurd move, Belfast's mayor Randy Tuckerson has formally petitioned President Joe Biden to recognize Belfast, Tennessee, as a National Historic Landmark-not for its Civil War history, not for its agriculture, but for its contributions to the art of spitting.
"Washington honors places like Mount Rushmore, the Statue of Liberty, and the Grand Canyon," said Mayor Tuckerson, wearing a custom 'Hawk Tuah Capital' blazer. "And what do all those places have in common? They ain't got nothing on Belfast."
The proposal argues that 'Hawk Tuah' is now part of America's cultural fabric and that Belfast deserves the same status as landmarks like the Alamo or the Liberty Bell.
"It ain't just a trend," said local historian Dale Ray Johnson. "This is a movement-a spit-based revolution. Future generations will study this."
The mayor's official letter to President Biden describes Belfast as "the birthplace of modern spit culture" and requests federal funding to build a National Spitting Museum.
White House insiders refuse to confirm if Biden has even read the letter, but one aide was overheard saying:
"Sir, do you want me to explain what 'Hawk Tuah' Belfast Tennessee is, or should we just ignore this?"
Meanwhile, local residents are preparing for the worst.
"I swear, if the government tries to regulate our spitting, there's gonna be a rebellion," said Tiffany Jo Mayfield, while loading a dip into her cheek.
For now, the fate of Belfast's National Landmark status remains unknown. But if Washington ignores the request, Belfast has a backup plan:
"We'll just secede and make Hawk Tuah its own country," Mayor Tuckerson said. "And our national anthem will be the sound of a perfectly executed spit."
===================
Memo to self:
Belfast, Tennessee’s 788 people fill 266 households, averaging 2.69 each. Launched in 1836, its Irish moniker bloomed with a shop in 1838. The 1952 F1 tornado—three dead, 166 injured—left a historic scar. Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame has since ignited a $500K surge, shifting Belfast from fields to fanfare. At 94.9% white, diversity’s a whisper, but growing. Median income’s $39,676, modest yet climbing with tourism. Welch, once a factory worker, now symbolizes a town that thrives on unexpected twists, its past and present entwined.
=======================
SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Danya Zeid
Literature and Journalism -- Earlham
WRITER BIO:
Combining her passion for writing with a talent for satire, this Jewish college student delves into current events with sharp humor. Her work explores societal and political topics, questioning norms and offering fresh perspectives. As a budding journalist, she uses her unique voice to entertain, educate, and challenge readers.
====================
